Emotional Support Cobbles

Emotional Support
the HARD way

In a world full of stress and pressure,
Emotional Support Cobbles can be your Touchstone

Cobble Happiness

Formed over hundreds of thousands of years of literal Stress and Pressure, each Emotional Support Cobble was rounded naturally by glaciation, rolling within ice mountains before being deposited in the highlands of Scotland. 

Released from its prison of ice before human history, each Emotional Support Cobble silently witnessed the rise of civilisation; the triumphs, innovation and failure. Each Emotional Support Cobble has been through it all.

Each Emotional Support Cobble comes in it's own plywood crate with a removable top along with a carved name stick. Each Cobble is totally unique with their own expression and personality.

FORMED

Formed deep within the Earth as liquid magma under intense heat and pressure.

PUSHED

Pushed to the surface by cataclysmic volcanic action.

ROUNDED

Rounded naturally by Glaciation.

WEATHERED

Weathered by Highland rainfall

How do I figure out if an Emotional Support Cobble is right for me?

There are no hard rules about who would and would not benefit from an Emotional Support Cobble. The primary benefit is often the simple companionship that comes from spending time with a grounded object.

Cobbles can be a great comfort during times of distress and a much-needed positive presence on a difficult day. Unlike animals, taking care of an Emotional Support Cobble requires no effort at all. Emotional Support Cobbles love being left alone for long periods and they require no food or water. Equally they may be held or warmed in the hands, or carried in a pocket wherever you go.

You may have a daily routine where you take your Emotional Support Cobble for a walk. For some, this kind of routine can be a useful exercise in mindfulness. If you find this sort of routine beneficial to your well-being then you should continue it. Your Emotional Support Cobble will support whatever choice you make.

Cobble Power

Emotional Support Cobbles are formed of natural granite containing interlocking crystals of feldspar, quartz, mica, amphiboles and other minerals. 

Feldspar

Adepts of crystal healing cite feldspar for its healing properties including mind, emotional, and relationship properties. Some believe that Feldspar can help you think clearly and connect you with fun ideas.

Quartz

Quartz crystals have been associated with balance, clarity and energy, and credited with benefiting overall health and spiritual well-being. Quartz crystals are found in digital watches and provide accurate timekeeping. 

Mica

Mica is an excellent protection mineral; insulating and reflective. 

Sheets of mica are surprisingly flexible, and some believe the mineral teaches us to be more organised and at the same time flexible.

Amphiboles

Amphibole crystals are tetrahedral in structure, consisting of a central silicon atom surrounded by four oxygen atoms in the shape of a tetrahedron. This produces a double chain of corner-linked silicon-oxygen tetrahedrons that extend indefinitely, parallel to the crystallographic axis.

Also known as “Angel Phantom Quartz.”

Minerals

The benefit of minerals has long been claimed by shampoo companies and requires no further explanation here. 

Physical Benefits

The Emotional Support Cobble can be near you when support animals cannot go. See the table below for comparison

When emotions overwhelm or anxiety peaks, the Emotional Support Cobble can be held in the hand or placed near your laptop or computer screen as a touchstone to the resilience of the natural form.

Emotional Support Cobbles are completely resistant to emotions and are able to be a touchstone of eternity in a transient life. 

Laundry Instructions

Please observe the correct laundry care instructions below

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Do not
wash

It's really important that you do not put your Emotional Support Cobble into a washing machine or attempt to hand wash it. Failure to adhere to this warning may lead to damage to the washing machine, or permanently return your Emotional Support Cobble to pre-factory state.

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Do not
dry-clean

Dry cleaning solvents may leave your Emotional Support cobble in a permanent "Winking" or "Meditative" state.

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Do not
iron

Your Emotional Support Cobble should not become creased through normal use.  Attempting to crease the Emotional Support Cobble would specifically invalidate its warranty, if it had one. Which it doesn't.

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Do not
tumble dry

Putting your emotional Support Cobble in a Tumble Dryer may damage the drum and reset it to a permanent "Winking" or "Meditative" state. Even if you are Nick Kamen, rocks don't go in dryers or washing machines.

Training your Emotional Support Cobble

Your Emotional Support Cobble has some entertaining tricks which it can perform on command.

Sit

Face your Emotional Support Cobble and give the command word "SIT" raising your palm to your shoulder. If your Emotional Support Cobble sits, praise and reward it.

Stay

Face your Emotional Support Cobble and give the command word "STAY" while extending your arm with palm facing forward. If your Emotional Support Cobble reacts appropriately, praise and reward it. 

Down

Face your Emotional Support Cobble and give the command word "DOWN" and extend your arm with finger pointing downward. If your Emotional Support Cobble reacts appropriately, praise and reward it.

Roll Over

Face your Emotional Support Cobble and give the command "ROLL OVER" with arm extended and finger describing a circle in a clockwise manner.

NB. Your Emotional Support Cobble may require manual assistance to begin and complete the roll.

Spin

Face your Emotional Support Cobble and give the command "SPIN" with arm bent and wrist and finger describing a circle in an anticlockwise manner.

NB. Your Emotional Support Cobble may require manual assistance to begin and complete the spin.

Pet & Praise

After training, give your Emotional Support Cobble lots of praise to reinforce positive behaviour no matter how well they performed the action. This will also increase the bond between you and your Emotional Support Cobble., and improve your relationship.

Feeding Guide 

Emotional Support Cobbles do not require food or water. They exist in this world to reflect only the care and attention that you wish to give them. 

Litter Training

Your Emotional Support Cobble is naturally clean and does not require toilet training, “time in the garden” or a litter tray.

You may take your Emotional Support Cobble into the bathroom with you. But do wash your hands hygienically for at least 20 seconds with soap and warm water before touching your Emotional Support Cobble. 

Safety Notes

Do not throw your Emotional Support Cobble

Emotional Support Cobbles should not be thrown under any circumstances.

Studies of the ballistic trajectories of Emotional Support Cobbles conclude that damage or injury may occur to the user or their property or that of third parties in the event that Emotional Support Cobbles are thrown. 

Do not put your Emotional Support Cobble in an oven or microwave

Every Emotional Support Cobble was formed of fiery magma under intense heat and pressure.

Intense heating may cause Emotional Support Cobble to return to an explosive state.

Do not give your Emotional Support Cobble a bath

Emotional Support Cobbles do not require washing under normal circumstances.

 If your Emotional Support Cobble becomes soiled then wipe clean with a damp cloth. Never use abrasives, harsh chemicals or solvents. If your Emotional Support Cobble becomes wet, dab it dry with a paper tissue and leave it to air dry. Never put your Emotional Support Cobble in a tumble dryer.

Do not put your Emotional Support Cobble in your mouth

It won’t taste very nice and may attack your teeth.

Granite is not a friend of tooth enamel.

Need Help? 

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Can I remove my Emotional Support Cobble from its crate?

    Yes.

  • Can I put my Emotional Support Cobble back into its crate?

    Only if you have previously removed it. 

  • What batteries does my Emotional Support Cobble require?

    Your Emotional Support Cobble does contain chips of silicon, but does not require batteries.

  • Does my Emotional Support Cobble require therapy or counselling?

    No. 

    Emotional Support Cobbles do not feel emotional stress like humans. They may accompany you to therapy and counselling, in which case you should notify your therapist or counsellor, and they may levy an additional fee.

  • My Emotional Support Cobble has lost an eye. What should I do?

    Consider that your Emotional Support Cobble is winking at you.

  • My Emotional Support Cobble has lost both eyes. What should I do?

    Consider that your Emotional Support Cobble is asleep, or in deep meditation. 

  • I think my Emotional Support Cobble is conspiring against me. What should I do?

    Your Emotional Support Cobble has no agenda, plan or intention other than being an Emotional Support Cobble.

    It's everyone else you need to be worried about.

  • I think my Emotional Support Cobble is sick. Should I take it to the vet?

    No. Seek professional  psychiatric help immediately.

  • I think that my Emotional Support Cobble might have died. What should I do?

    Emotional Support Cobbles are eternal and unable to die. Cared for properly, your Emotional Support Cobble could be with you always. Consider mentioning in your will what your intentions for ongoing care of your Emotional Support Cobble after your own passing.

  • I don’t think that my Emotional Support Cobble is working. What should I do?

    Consider that your Emotional Support Cobble is actually doing a lot of good for you and you would definitely be worse off without it. 

    Remain thankful that your Emotional Support Cobble will never be less than your Emotional Support Cobble.

  • Is this a joke?

    Yes. 

    It's just a novelty box with a cobble in it. But don't tell anyone.

    Anxiety, however, is a real problem and you should seek professional help if you are becoming overwhelmed.

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